Discipleship As We Go

I can imagine what many people think discipleship looks like in a pastor's home. Let me assure you that it looks as differently in every pastor's home as it does in every other home. We are not a one size fits all when it comes to discipleship. I'm sure that some did it similar to us, some very differently. Some would be shocked at the way we did it. Hopefully others would find some relief in the fact that we are much like them. We talked about it the other night as a family and with a few others that were at our house. We shared what ours looked like and they shared theirs. Some similarities. Some differences. I love asking mine if they regretted ways we did things. And I love their honesty. Love how they still remember those on the way to school talks. Rarely were they about academic stuff although we did do some cramming on test days, calling out those spelling words n using flash cards. Mostly it was about choices that they might face or how to behave or treat others. And they still remember mom's parting words right before they slammed the door, "make good choices today"! Boom, the door would slam. 

Maybe I'm shocking you to say we never did morning bible studies together before school. We didn't have a family altar. We talk so much about doing life with other people these days. Our goal was that they learn how to do life with Jesus and that we too would grow in that. It was discipleship, teaching opportunities, as we go, as we live, 

We approached that from the pattern we see in Deut 6:4-7. "Hear O Israel the Lord our God is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." We didn't walk along the road much but we drove LOTS! And they were trapped in the car so it was a great talking time, talking time that had its foundation in biblical principles and living. We had lots of good talks while I cooked dinner and they hung out in the kitchen. Bedtime was a great time in each individual room for anything left unsaid that day and then prayer time with each. Dinners altogether were huge to us so the family table at dinner time set the stage for lots of talk about things going on and how we could have acted and reacted to situations and circumstancesof the day. Family night, for us it was Thursday night, was always a priority and gave opportunity to reign everyone in and reconnect if needed. During the summer months we bought each of them a bible study that was age appropriate and taught them how to sit with that and have their own time with God. That was to be done before the day's fun started and it taught them how they didn't have to have one of us or a teacher with them. They could sit with God's  Word and have that alone time with Him. One of ours said the other night in the discipleship conversation that it helped that we were together a lot as a family. And we were. Whether at home or on the move we were together a lot. Family time always trumped friend time, ours and theirs. It also helped to grow up with a pastor/dad who they sat under his preaching A LOT and then they saw him live it at home. Not a perfect mom and dad. With 4 kids at least one is always around when you blow it. But they saw real. They saw their dad throw his hat n yell a lot at ball games. They saw their mom lose her cool over things that didn't matter or if they did matter there was still probably a better way to handle it. There just wasn't a lot of pretense. Life is easier that way. It was just real. Sometimes raw or messy, but it was real. 

Our kids were tremendously blessed to grow up in a church where they were loved and allowed to be kids and grow. They had the best of the best when it came to student pastors who poured Jesus into them himself and set them up for amazing times to learn and grow in Christ. However, that never took away from our responsibility as parents. We were assigned by God to disciple our own kids. We were extremely picky about who had a hand in that as well. I'm thankful for all the hands that were in it with us as much as I'm thankful for all the parents who trusted me to disciple their kids. But I've always said that out of all the middle school girls, high school girls, college girls, grown girls that I was able to disciple, my own kids were my #1 discipleship group. If I lost them nothing else mattered. They were priority. I didn't  want anyone else to have the joy of discipling mine alone. I never saw that as our student ministers job. It was my pastor's job only because he was their dad in our case but it's a parents job first and foremost. I know that scares some parents. But all we have to do is stay a step ahead of them. Today there's so much to help us do that and do it  together. Don't be lazy either. It takes work. It takes time in the Word and prayer. But it's the greatest thing we will ever spend our time doing, learning the Word and passing that down to our children. None of us have all the answers. It's ok to be vulnerable in front of them and admit that. Grow together. Take that first step. Whether it's sitting down and opening the Word together, watching a video together or learning a few scriptures to give them when they're struggling in an area. When drama is going on share with them Luke 6 about loving their enemies. When the coach is making life miserable for them share some Matthew 5:44 about praying for those who persecute you. When school is hard and they feel overloaded give em Phil 4:13. And when girls, or boys, are just plain mean give them 2 Cor. 2:14-15 and show them how to spread that fragrance of Jesus! That's a huge way to disciple your kids. It's discipleship as we go. We have such a small window of time to do this. Many days I would love to go back and do it all over again, correct my mistakes, enjoy the fun of it, try it another way or give a different perspective. But we only get the one shot. You can do this. I know you can. And it will bring you more joy than your most favorite thing!!

Monday Morning Perspective

In some way, Sunday's message had to hit all of us. Maybe some a little harder than others but it was dead on! The waiting rooms of life: waiting for people to show up or maybe grow up, traffic waits, waiting for appointment times, waiting in lines. All kinds of waiting, some trivial, some very serious. But we all wait at different times for different things. 

Some of my fave quotes (too many to list them all):

In the inconveniences of life,how do we react?

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God won't see you through. 

God's hand is on the thermostat of the furnace. 

God is trying to develop you not destroy you. 

God's delays aren't His denials. 

Don't just quote Rom.8:28, believe it. 

When we lose patience, we lose control of our tongue. 

We think we are waiting on God, but maybe He is waiting on us. 

One day His patience will run out.

It was a great day at Fairview! So many faithful members serving! So many visitors, first timers and repeaters, continue to pour in! Lots of college students bringing energy and excitement! Blessed to serve where God is pouring out His Spirit and making an impact!

Cancel the Debt

I may be the only one who needs this and that's ok but I was in Deuteronomy 15 this morning and although this is one of those places in scripture we can tend to think isn't applicable, I saw it a bit differently this morn. I kept reading it over and over. It's a chapter on canceling debts. It's actually entitled in my bible as The Year for Canceling Debts. I began to think that just maybe in the year 2015 I might should implement this 15th chapter. Not in the strictest sense of the scripture because no one owes me anything. However I certainly need to be more generous towards the poor. I need to offer help to the needy. But I began to see it as another type of debt. I've been guilty before of holding things over people that I need to cancel. I've felt at times like there were a few people who "owed" me an apology for things said or done. I've felt at times that there were a few people who "owed" me an explanation. Some "owed" me a reason behind the hurt or offense. I need to cancel those debts. No, they haven't been paid and probably never will be. But I need to cancel them. I need to have no wicked thoughts and show no ill will. I need to give grace generously. I need to offer forgiveness without a grudging heart. This chapter says 5 times that "the Lord your God will bless you". I want that more than any debt paid off by people I feel "owe" me. I've been on the other end as well. People have kept me "on the hook" for things I've said or done whether intentionally or unintentionally. It's a terrible feeling! You become the reason for everything bad in their life and it's awful. You want to scream "please just take me off the hook"! They misread your intentions and take everything you say as a direct hit even when they were the furthest thing from your mind. I've been on both sides. It's freeing to cancel a debt and its freeing when someone else declares you debt free and takes you off the hook. Therefore, what if we all agreed to let 2015 be the year we all implement chapter 15 of Deuteronomy and CANCEL THE DEBT! Take others OFF THE HOOK! FORGIVE! LET IT GO! That doesn't mean God won't deal with the wrong. It doesn't mean it makes things right but it will make us alright. God has promised to bless and isn't that what we want more than anything else?! Let's want that to be what we want. Living debt free in 2015 and gracing others even when we could label them "in debt" to us is a better way to live and it's where we find the blessings God has promised.